


Compost duty

by epithalamium



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Domestic, Gen, Humor, M/M, in which I forget to include Eld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epithalamium/pseuds/epithalamium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the snk kink meme prompt: The scouting legion sees Levi and Erwin as their mother and father figure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compost duty

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Compost duty  
> Characters/Pairings: Erwin Smith/Rivaille, Petra Rall, Auruo Bozzard, Hanji Zoe, Mike Zacharius, Gunter Schultz  
> Rating: PG-13 for language  
> Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin and all related characters is to Isayama Hajime and associates.  
> Summary: The scouting legion sees Levi and Erwin as their mother and father figure.  
> Word count: 1,700~  
> Notes/Warnings: Fill [here](http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2124.html?thread=1907788#cmt1907788). I wanted it to be funnier, but it wanted to tackle politics instead.

*

‘Auruo.’ Petra’s footsteps echoed quick and precise inside the courtyard. ‘Auruo!’

‘What?’ Auruo called out from the stables where he’d been feeding the horses. It was dull and tedious work, but someone had to do it. Petra was just glad she had been assigned to cleaning duties inside the barracks. ‘Honestly, Petra. You should stop throwing yourself at me every chance you get.’

Petra ignored this; she had more important things to think about. ‘You’ve gone over the monthly allotment of blades again, haven’t you?’

‘So,’ said Auruo, barely looking up from the trough he’d been filling with water as Petra entered the stables, hands on her hips. ‘What if I have? How’d you know about that, anyway? You fucking stalker!’

‘I know because you requisitioned the extra blades _I_ haven’t used yet.’ Petra was nearly shouting. Supplies didn’t stint on the Scouting Legion for weaponry and other necessities—at least, not exactly. But there had been complaints from the Wall Sina tax payers about the misuse of funds again, and Supplies had to put up a system of equipment acquisition that required a load of paperwork and justifications that the members of the Scouting Legion really didn’t have any time for.

‘It’s for a higher cause.’ Auruo shrugged. ‘No need to get your pants in a twist.’

‘And what am I supposed to do about my blades, then?’ said Petra. ‘That’s it. I’m going to tell the Corporal!’

That got Auruo moving off his arse. ‘Hey,’ he said, reaching out for Petra. But she had already left the stables and was walking quickly back into the barracks. ‘That’s just not fair! Petra! Come back here!’

*

Erwin opened the door just as Rivaille was about to knock, and Rivaille found himself with one hand raised, catching himself before rapping his knuckles against Erwin’s chest.

‘I was just about to look for you,’ said Erwin, waving Rivaille inside his office. ‘Petra’s equipment?’

‘Yeah,’ said Rivaille, holding up a sheaf of papers under Erwin’s nose. ‘Sent me a fucking report. About blade acquisition. Never knew the like before. Fucking upper-class swine tightening the purse strings, hoping no-one’d notice the hole they’d punched at the bottom.’

Erwin had heard different versions of this tirade already, and not just from Rivaille, but Rivaille was not above repeating himself to get a point across. 

‘I’m aware,’ said Erwin, without inflection. ‘But it’s a system that we have to work with, if not necessarily _for_.’

Rivaille’s silence told Erwin what he thought of that. Erwin sighed, taking Petra’s report from Rivaille and leaning against the edge of his desk as he read it through. 

‘Auruo’s already told you,’ Rivaille guessed, going back to the subject at hand because it was obvious Erwin wasn’t going to discuss financial matters anytime soon. As if, Rivaille thought, he ever did.

‘He sent me his own report,’ said Erwin. ‘Along with long descriptions detailing his kills. I suppose we can hold it as justification for the use of said equipment. Might hold enough water so I can file for the increase of blade allotment per member.’ 

Rivaille let a rush of breath from his nose. ‘And Auruo?’

‘I’ll leave that to you.’

‘As always,’ said Rivaille. ‘You spoil your fucking men, Erwin.’

‘People would say,’ said Erwin, with a small smile, ‘I spoil you most of all.’

*

Auruo got compost duty for a month. It was a task usually reserved for new recruits, since no one really fancied mucking about horseshit all day, but it served to bring Auruo’s feet back on the ground and seemed to mollify Petra. Erwin somehow managed to harass Supplies into increasing the amount of allowed blades per member per month, and everyone was (quite temporarily) happy.

*

Rivaille was a light sleeper. One needed to be, considering mankind’s circumstances in general and one’s position in particular. So he was already up and out of bed before someone began knocking at his door.

‘Who is it?’

The door opened to show Hanji, amused expression on her face that did not exactly tie up with her dishevelled appearance and the dark shadows under her eyes. ‘Big row in the dorms, couldn’t miss it, have you slept through all that?’

‘My rooms are in the opposite wing,’ Rivaille pointed out. ‘What is it this time?’

‘New recruits woke up to Mike sniffing at them in the dark. They threw him out, and he decided to bother Gunter instead. Picked up a fuss—oh, here he is now.’

Rivaille heard shouted complaints about private space and sexual harassment before Gunter came into view, one hand holding a lamp and the other gesticulating wildly. The light threw his deranged shadow across the hallway. Rivaille’s imagination wasn’t particularly fanciful, but the scene made him wonder if this was what hell looked like.

‘Wouldn’t put up with it any longer!’ Gunter was shouting. ‘Even did it once in the baths! What the bloody fuck is the man up to? Fucking Sina!’

‘It’s hardly Mike’s fault he caught you performing hand relief,’ Hanji offered. Rivaille fought the urge to go back in his room and shut the door at their faces. Can things get any fucking worse.

‘That’s not the point! There’s little enough privacy in this place. One must let out some pressure sometime—’

‘Perhaps,’ Rivaille suggested, ‘you should have locked the door before having a go.’

‘I,’ said Gunter, with great dignity, ‘don’t need to justify what I do in the privacy of my rooms, sir.’

Rivaille certainly can’t argue with that. One must set precedent in such cases or everyone’s going to barge in rooms without knocking and Rivaille would rather not have a repeat performance of tonight. 

‘Where’s Mike?’ he said.

‘I don’t know,’ said Gunter, in tones that suggested he didn’t care if Mike threw himself down from the Wall as he spoke.

‘Right,’ said Rivaille, with a sigh. ‘Hanji, look for Mike and tell him that he and Gunter are to report to Erwin’s office at 1000 hours tomorrow. _Then_ get back to your rooms and make sure to fucking lock your doors. Dismissed.’

*

Erwin was having breakfast when Rivaille got to his office, a couple of hours before Gunter and Mike were supposed to make their appearance. Rivaille wasn’t surprised to see that there was enough food for two on Erwin’s desk. Erwin acknowledged his presence with a nod and started pouring tea into an extra cup.

‘You’ve heard?’ said Rivaille, sitting in front of the desk.

‘It was pretty hard not to.’ Erwin tried to hide a smile from behind a buttered toast. ‘Help yourself.’

‘Like bickering babies, the lot of them,’ said Rivaille. ‘I didn’t fucking sign up for this shit.’

Erwin spread marmalade over a piece of toast and handed it to Rivaille. ‘Perhaps we should start screening for parental instincts in new recruits.’

‘You’re enjoying yourself,’ said Rivaille, taking a bite from the proffered toast. ‘Well, you’re not the one who got pulled out of bed in the middle of the night to listen to Gunter’s dignified defence of wanking off.’

‘Is that why he was so angry?’

Rivaille found himself somewhat placated by the food in his stomach and the soothing tone of Erwin’s presence. He didn’t doubt that this was Erwin’s intention all along.

*

Mike took his turn at compost duty, which he appreciated even less than Auruo, considering his olfactory senses and his rank. The members of the Scouting Legion were advised to keep their doors locked, the official note bearing the addendum that superior officers were not answerable for fools who will forget and get caught engaged in private activities. Mike remained puzzled by Commander Erwin’s scentless-ness.

*

Middle of the night, brisk knocking at the door.

‘What the fuck now?’ said Rivaille, sitting up on the bed.

A large, warm hand covered his mouth, and then Erwin’s whispered warning, ‘Rivaille.’

‘Well, fuck,’ said Rivaille, against Erwin’s hand. He didn’t say anything more as Erwin slid out of bed, letting his gaze slide over Erwin’s backside as Erwin put on trousers and a rumpled shirt. Rivaille was pretty sure buttons were missing from that shirt, and made note to look for them under the bed later. 

Someone had started shouting outside the door—a couple of someones, Rivaille thought, judging from the volume and the variation of tone. It was hard to pick out what they were saying, the noise only lessening when Erwin called out, ‘Yes, what is it?’, before opening the door wide enough to see what was happening out there in the hallway, but only so far.

‘Heard a crash, and someone screaming—’

‘Looked out to investigate—’

‘The Corporal not answering the door—’

‘He wasn’t in his room, I checked!’

‘Thought it sounded like Rivaille—’

Rivaille blanched at the sound of what seemed like the whole bulk of the Scouting Legion crowding in front of Erwin’s room, sounding panicked in their distress. Like little children, he thought, seeking comfort from their parents. Erwin made a soothing sound, not unlike one would to a spooked horse.

‘He probably set out to look for the cause of the disturbance,’ Erwin was saying. ‘I’m sure he’ll be back before daybreak.’

‘But what if something happens to him?’ said Petra.

‘Bah, it’s the Corporal we’re talking about,’ Auruo cut in. ‘He’s made of tougher stuff than that.’

‘I’m sure the Corporal knows enough to beat a tactical retreat if the situation calls for it,’ said Erwin. From the sound of his voice, Rivaille knew Erwin was trying hard not to laugh.

‘But I thought,’ said Hanji, who didn’t sound so much worried as curious, ‘I heard his voice just a moment ago.’

There was a great snuffling noise, like a scenting hound, that Rivaille assumed was Mike. As if to confirm this, Mike spoke, ‘You sure your experiments haven’t addled your senses, Hanji? Back to your rooms and rest, you lot. I’m sure the Corporal will be frowning at us over breakfast tomorrow, same as always. Good night, Commander.’

‘Good night, everyone,’ said Erwin, before closing the door.

‘He knows,’ said Rivaille, as Erwin scrambled back into bed. Rivaille threw Erwin’s thick covers over them both. ‘Ugh, you’ve got cold feet.’

‘He _suspects_ ,’ Erwin corrected him, tangling his feet with Rivaille’s despite loud protests. ‘He didn’t see anything.’

‘Still,’ Erwin added, just as Rivaille was drifting back to sleep, his head resting over Erwin’s chest, ‘it would probably be wise to get him off compost duty as soon as possible.’

*


End file.
